This kind of message always upsets me.
It sounds so accusatory. There are no compulsory revelations here.
We have here the age-old subject of group dynamics.
It is wrong to expect that this group should be any different from
physical groups of people, gathering because of a common interest.
Please read the following three paragraphs as applicable to cyber and
physical groups.:

There are those who were founder members of the group; there are those
who have been around in the group for many years; there are those who
have come along each month, and their membership is, by definition, for
a longer or shorter time. Their knowledge of one another is usually
proportional to that time. There are those who belong, but who are
either too shy to take part in a conversation; or who simply do not wish
to do so - or even may not attend meetings. If other members are not
aware of this they cannot, of course, be included; if they are aware,
then these folk are usually encouraged to participate fully. If they do
not wish to, it is their choice, and that is respected.

Any person entering a group, for the first time, cannot know the
history of each and every member - instantly. Over time, some knowledge
may be acquired (or not). Gradually it becomes apparent that there are
those with whom a friendship could never be formed - not that there is
anything wrong with either person, simply that the 'chemistry' is not
there. On the other hand, there are those who immediately 'click' with
another member and a friendship begins. This may be superficial or deep
and close, just depending on how things pan out. There are as many
different personalities as there are members.

It certainly takes time to find one's feet in any group. At first, it
might only feel 'safe' to discuss topics germane to the purpose of the
group. Gradually one might feel freer to introduce other topics which
one might feel would be of interest to others. Later on, one might ask
for help on personal matters; or one might turn to them in time of
distress. And so it grows.

On this newsgroup there are people who are geographically close, and
others who even belong to the same Guild. This does give them more
familiarity and they can post pithy messages, to one another, within
the group which could, if one was not aware of the existing friendship,
appear excluding of others. This will always happen in any group. It
is inevitable. I have to be one of the most thin-skinned people on
earth! yet I came to understand this quite quickly. There is no
malicious or cliquey intention at all.

As to your - or any other newbie - being an 'outsider', it takes a
considerable time for everyone to become aware of a new member. If you
have been reading for any length of time, you must have seen how new
members are joyfully greeted. You will not get known if we do not see
you, or know your name - even an alias to sign your posts (many are used
within the group). This is not a criticism, just an explanation of why
you might be feeling so. Your opinions do count, of course.

I dislike your use of the word 'junk'. But, using your analogy in spite
of that, many people have found great treasure in a junk drawer; others
derive pleasure from riffling through, especially if there are
circumstances whereby their acquisition of knowledge and opportunities
for chatting with others are limited.

If you would like to try a really strict On Topic quilting group, you
might like the British Quilt List (BQL) a Yahoo group. You simply sign
up to subscribe. It is not restricted to British nationals - there are
several people from the States who are members. There is a membership
of about 700. I am not advertising for them, as I am no longer a
member.

I hope to goodness that this post is read in the spirit in which it was
written. I would be mortified in the extreme, if anyone thought I was
starting a flame war here. Those who know me - anywhere - would know I
could not do that.
..
In article , ruffian
writes



Do we all have to tell our life's story on this group?
A little bit about sewing and quilting is enough.
DM
I don't think you are forced to tell anything ( or read anything)
that you
don't want to......
Flossy
Malvern England ***** Queen of Plaids ******
http://photos.yahoo.com/flossy3353


I agree w/Buddy and disagree w/Flossy. This NGrp is like looking in a
"junk drawer": You want to find something you hope is in there
somewhere, but you have to wade through a lot of stuff to find it. It
does no good to say "ignore everything there but what you're looking
for" We are human, yet almost as curious as our cats.

I'm new at quilting, get help here, and appreciate it. Some of the
"old hands" who know their craft well and willingly share their
experience also like to talk about a lot of other stuff with their
friends.

Some might respond that I'm paying the price of admission by being an
"outsider". Like a child: be seen if necessary, but not heard. Your
opinions don't count here. Power sometimes corrupts. I don't like it,
but it's "their" NGrp by sheer number of posts.

On balance, it's worth my time, since it's the only game in town. And
thanks for sharing information on quilting.


--
Best Regards
pat on the hill