Dh has had to take DD into the men's washroom a couple of times, but he makes sure
that she has her eyes covered until they got to the stall. Now he would just wait
outside the ladies room and let her go by herself. (she's 6.5) There are still places
he wouldn't do that, such as the local Fair, the airport or something like that,
where it's more difficult to monitor who comes in and out. As far as it goes with
DD's best friend, who is her age, his mom will not allow him into a restroom
unaccompanied. She will take him in, and try to use the wheelchair accessable stall
(heck, i use that stall with my own child), unless she is out with us, and DH is
there, whereas DH will take him in. We respect her feelings in the matter, and try
to be flexible about it. That's what it takes with having kids in the world, I think,
flexibility. Not that they should dictate everything we do, of course...but..i think
you get the idea.

We take our DD everywhere with us, and have since she was born. She's gone to the
opera, symphony, ballet, etc., and has been trained from day one how to behave. I
don't worry about that part at all. As to what outing is appropriate for her or not,
the only thing i'd consider is if the things we were to see would be too graphic or
inappropriate in that way for a child to handle. Kids need to be exposed to "grown
up" situations like restaurants and the theatre (as opposed to movies/cinema, though
movies for kids are fine), and to be exposed when they're younger, so that when they
get to be teenagers, they aren't completely socially inept. It also very much
depends on the child. Some kids are more able to sit still and pay attention than
others, and the same child at one age may be ok, then might not be when older or
younger. I think it's a real judgement call that you have to make at that particular
moment...and just deal with it at the time. If people get offended because you're
trying to do the best you can with your kids, as long as you aren't doing anything
relaly harmful to anyone...well, that's really their problem to deal with, and not
yours. I'm not saying that you can't be polite about it, but someone is always bound
to get offended no matter what you do.

I would like to see more family washrooms, such as you can find in many airports and
large malls these days, or a single, lockable washroom that could be used by
anyone....and rooms for breast feeding moms to nurse while they are out. This would
solve the problem, IMHO.

My two cents.
--
Jalynne
Queen Gypsy (snail mail available upon request)
see what i've been up to at www.100megsfree4.com/jalynne

"NBennett" wrote in message
.. .
Lorraine
Speaking as a single mother of a girl, who has never had to deal with this
problem,
I'll nevertheless give my opinion/experience.
I do not like to see boys (over about 6 yrs) in the ladies room. Ditto for
women's changeroom
at swimming pools. I don't like being ogled by little boys. Mostly they look
miserable at being
there too.
I have, on occasion, taken little girls to the washroom along with my own
daughter when I notice
a stressed out father trying to figure out how to handle the situation. The
girls were old enough to
actually do everything themselves. I just walked them in, waited for them,
made sure they washed
their hands and walked them back to their fathers.
I think the bathroom situation is part of judging whether or not the outing
is suitable for the child.
I would never take a 3 yr old to an opera because they couldn't behave
appropriately. I also
wouldn't take a child of the opposite sex somewhere where the washroom
situation was not
suitable to the child's age. This means if the child was not old enough to
go to the washroom alone,
I wouldn't take him/her far from home. I would make sure they used the
washroom before we left
home. I would make sure the outing was short so we could get back to the
washroom at home.
Sort of like planning on being home for naptime for a baby. It's part of
being a responsible parent.
Having said that, I know kids are not always predictable in this regard.
When push comes to shove, I think the parent should take the child into the
washroom appropriate
for the parent. I would tolerate seeing a 7 yr old boy better than a 40 yr
old man in the ladies washroom.
Nancy
"TwinMom" wrote in message
...
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting
retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not
only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her
exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family
restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as
possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter
into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with
dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little
boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos