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Old August 31st 03, 06:37 AM
CMM PDX2
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Default Aaaaaaaagghhh!! Slippery yarn rant...

Well, I knew it would be understood here...

Since about 6:30 p.m, I've been d'loading pix from my favorite clip-art
newsgroup, to keep myself occupied during the boring part of a project.

Said project is skeining some yarn for over-dyeing. (not that it isn't a
perfectly lovely fuschia color already; it's just that I need some dark purple
rayon, and this was lying around in stash, the perfect yarn for dyeing purple.)
Anyway, skeining is never what you'd call the most *interesting* of jobs, so
makes sense to combine it with something else. g And hey, skeining ain't that
difficult... I've got my niddy-noddy, which I can handle easily while sitting
at the computer; the yarn's put-up is about 100 yds., in those figure-8-wound
'balls', so usually easy to handle; and there's only 7 of them. It's just
slogging away at it until I get it done. No problem, right? Simple! Usually a
1-hour job for only 7 of 'em, or less, even.

It is now almost 10 p.m. as I start this post. I have three - count 'em, *3* -
balls skeined ready for washing and dyeing. Why so long, you ask??

This has *got* to be some of the most *slippery* dratted yarn I've ever laid
hands on!! ::muted scream:: You wanna talk tangles? I feel like I've been
trapped in a spider-web factory! Ohhhhh, man... LOL.

It's not that it's vintage yarn from the early 80's. It's not that it's about
fingering weight. It's that it's 100% pure *rayon*, and it's a corkscrew yarn.
(think a fine version of Lion Brand's Homespun, for those of you not spinners.
fawncier yarn mfrs. are now calling type this 'seed' yarn, sometimes, although
that's usually a little more stable than most corkscrew yarns.) This stuff is
slicker than the traditional greased hog on ice - make that a *drunken* greased
hog on ice - and *evil*, too!

The 2 plies slide freely along each other. (leading to knots and tangles.) It
take malicious glee in slipping off the niddy-noddy at every opportunity, since
of course, you don't wanna wind it on there *too* tight. You'd never get the
skein off if you did - or you'd break the niddy-noddy. (leading to knots and
tangles.) Any loose strands that come within an inch of another immediately try
to twist around each other even more in a big, spontaneous "let's all ply
together" love-in, despite all my efforts to the contrary. (leading to knots
and tangles.) Trying to pull from the center of the skein was a *big* mistake,
too. (that led to *major* knots and tangles.) Unwinding it from the outside of
the figure-8 ball works better, but excess loops of the stuff still escape and
dangle freely. (leading to knots and tangles.) If I don't keep a firm grip on
it, bigger chunks of yarn, knotted together like a bunch of snakes, slither out
of the skein further on in from where I'm unwinding. (leading to knots and
tangles.) And, of course, when I hit one of those, I've gotta put everything
down and untangle it. This means whatever's already wound onto the niddy-noddy
sneakily tries to make a break for freedom, *again*, no matter what I've done
to outwit it. I mean, I'm reluctant to use tape or SuperGlue, y'know? (leading
to knots and tangles.)

Of course, it's gonna look absolutely gorgeous when over-dyed; my test bits
came out a beautiful deep, glowing purple, like the best dark amethyst.
Incredible. It's just-- Well, you know how it is when washing/dyeing skeins. No
matter how careful you are, and how well you've tied them, they still tangle up
some.

Now imagine after I've dyed and dried these skeins. I'm gonna have to wind them
into center-pull balls. Seven of 'em. And there's no doubt, they're going to be
even *more* tangled - it's inevitable. This stuff belongs to the Dark Side of
the Force. I'm going to be stopping every few feet of yarn to (im)patiently
pick apart practically impervious snarls. I'm gonna go nuts!
Nnnnnnnnnnnnghghgghhhhhhhhh!!!!!

On the other hand - it *will* be luscious. vbg But I wonder what it's gonna
be like *knitting* with it, even stranded with cotton, as I plan to. Thank god
I'm not trying to weave it; I can just imagine the mess warping a loom would
be. I'd be beyond ready for the local Home for the Seriously Bewildered!

Although I have downloaded about 50 new pix in between snarling at snarls, so
I've accomplished more than it feels like. On the computer, at least. )

Ok, now that I've vented my feelings to a sympathetic audience, I'm gonna take
a break and go do something simple, like maybe quantum physics, about which I
know nothing at all. ::giggling::

Monica (tongue firmly in cheek)

---------
"No, that isn't me you saw - I'm not here, I'm incognito!" (Me, Myself & I)
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