OK Some of you may not relate but most of us will....

What a difference 30 years makes!





1974: Long hair

2004: Longing for hair



1974: The perfect high

2004: The perfect high yield mutual fund



1974: KEG

2004: EKG



1974: Acid rock

2004: Acid reflux



1974: Moving to California because it's cool

2004: Moving to California because it's warm



1974: Growing pot

2004: Growing pot belly



1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor



1974: Seeds and stems

2004: Roughage



1974: Killer weed

2004: Weed killer



1974: Hoping for a BMW

2004: Hoping for a BM



1974: The Grateful Dead

2004: Dr. Kevorkian



1974: Going to a new, hip joint

2004: Receiving a new hip joint



1974: Rolling Stones

2004: Kidney Stones



1974: Being called into the principal's office

2004: Calling the principal's office



1974: Screw the system

2004: Upgrade the system



1974: Disco

2004: Costco



1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut

2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved



1974: Passing the drivers' test

2004: Passing the vision test



1974: Whatever

2004: Depends







The people who started college this fall across the nation were

born in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.



Their lifetime has always included AIDS.



Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.



They have always had an answering machine.



They have always had cable.



They cannot fathom not having a remote control.



Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.



Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.



They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.



They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.



They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.



They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or

"de plane Boss, de plane."



They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.



McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.



They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.



Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies in your life.





You know you are living in the year 2004 when:



1 Your reason for not staying in touch with some family and friends is

because they do not have e-mail.



2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.



3. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so

she can create a screen saver.



4. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if

anyone is home.



5. Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom

of the screen.



6. You buy a computer and 3 months later it's out of date and sells
for

half the price, or less than you paid for it.



7. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have
the

first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn

around to go get it.



8. Using real money, instead of a credit or debit card, to make a

purchase would be a hassle and take planning.



9. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.



10. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.



11. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.



12. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.



13. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.



14. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.



15. You disconnect from the Internet and you get this awful feeling, as

if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.



16. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.



17. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on

your way back to bed.



18. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.



19. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.



20. Even worse; you know exactly who you are going to forward this to